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In the beginning, my concussion recovery was all I could talk about. No wonder if you are feeling sick every minute of the day. The whole world around me disappeared, and it felt like there was only me and my concussion.
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Table of contents
I am aware that I talk a lot about my concussion, it’s the main thing in my life because I am dealing with it every day. Especially in the beginning, it was there ALL THE TIME, every minute, every second of the day. Right now (almost 5 years after my accident), there are moments where I can forget about it for a little while.
This happens when I am having a good day and doing something that gives me energy. Then it feels like I am on top of the world, and it will never change again. Until I realize I went over my limits, and my symptoms were all there again. This happens over and over.
I talk(ed) about my concussion recovery a lot
This is normal, right? If something is there every minute of the day, you will talk about it. But, after a while, I noticed that it started to bother some people. I was talking about my concussion, about what I couldn’t do anymore, that I had to cancel again, and so on.
I also started to read books about it, listened to podcasts and searched on the internet. I just wanted to understand what was going on and how I could get better. The last thing I wanted was for this to be the main thing in my life.
I didn’t want to make my concussion recovery the main thing in life, but why shouldn’t I mention it when I was feeling it all the time? Should I just ignore it? Pretend I was feeling okay? That didn’t feel right for me. So, I lost a lot of people who were just not able to deal with it. You will get to know who your real friends are when you experience something like this.
I tried to stop talking about it - It seems like people forget about it
Because I was aware that I talked about it a lot, I tried not to mention it all the time, every day, to everyone. In the beginning, people asked how I was doing, if I was moving forward. But after a while, not talking about it myself anymore, it felt like everyone around me had forgotten that I was still struggling every day.
I didn’t want them to forget about it; I wanted them to know that I was still struggling. It felt very lonely to know that I was the only person who knew that I wasn’t feeling well. It felt like the world was continuing while I was on pause, acting like I wasn’t. So hard!
“Don’t talk about your concussion symptoms, and they will disappear”
Some people told me that when I don’t talk about my concussion symptoms all the time, they will stop being the main focus in my life. I get that thought, and I wanted to try it because when you have a concussion, you try everything, and you hope it will work.
I wished it worked like that, but it didn’t and believe me, I tried. I tried everything not to make this the main thing in my life anymore. But this isn’t working for me. It makes me feel sad and lonely.
I don’t want people to think I am okay while I am not
Of course, I don’t want to tell them every minute of the day that I am not feeling well. But not sharing it at all didn’t feel right to me. I decided to stop doing that, and if people couldn’t deal with them, they wouldn’t be the right fit for me.
I believe being open and honest about it will keep the people in your life who are meant to be there. Letting go of people who don't fit in your life anymore will give you the space to bring new people into your path. People who get how you’re feeling, who really care about you and want to help you.
Now, after 5 years, it’s not always the main thing anymore
It took a while but now, five years after the accident, it feels like I can forget about it for a short period of time. This happens when I am having a good day, doing something I like, and taking enough rest.
But most of the time, my concussion symptoms are always there. So I have to plan my day in order to not make them worse, I have to be aware of my energy, my screen time, make sure that I exercise (but in a gentle way), and so many more things.
Learning how to deal with it
Over time, you learn how to deal with it, and you have to make some choices on the way to keep moving forward. Maybe that isn’t always easy, and it’s not the choice you want, but it’s so needed.
Also, setting boundaries is one of the most important things in your concussion recovery. And no one will do it for you, so please do it for yourself. Once you are more aware of your energy, you’re not fighting against your concussion symptoms all the time anymore, and by setting the boundaries you need, it may feel like it isn’t the main thing in your life anymore. It takes time, so give yourself the time you need. It’s not a race.
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